


tend to shatter

by sandyk



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Blood, F/M, Panic Attack, Peter Parker has PTSD, Sensory Overload, fugue state, tied down trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:41:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28151790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandyk/pseuds/sandyk
Summary: First, Peter has an awful experience. Then second, he has a scary recovery. Then third, he ends up triggered but he has MJ and Ned and May to help him.
Relationships: Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker
Kudos: 24





	tend to shatter

**Author's Note:**

> For the hurt comfort bingo spot restrained. Title from the roots' you got me. All the critiques of the Stanford Prison Experiment are the real thing. Thank you A!!!!
> 
> Long section of Peter having sensory overload and in a kind of fugue, please heed the tags.

First was the man, the two men who had Spider-man with his wrists tied behind his back and his ankles tied to some stupid pole on top of a building somewhere in Manhattan. They hadn't taken off his mask so there was that saving grace to Peter. Every four hours or so someone jabbed Peter's leg and thanks to that, he never had the strength to get free. He wiggled a lot and strained his muscles and fell asleep. It was something like sleep. 

One of the men liked to talk. He would say "No Iron Man so far. Are you sure he really likes you?"

Peter was pretty sure. Even if Mr. Stark was faking it, Aunt May would notice Peter was missing and she would make sure Mr. Stark found him. Or Ned would notice he was missing, and then he and May would make Mr. Stark find him. 

MJ would notice he wasn't in school, it had been at least eighteen hours. So he'd missed school. 

Iron Man and War Machine and Vision came. They easily defeated the two bad guys, like, so easy it made Peter a little embarrassed he'd been caught. As War Machine got Peter down, he said, "Everybody gets caught, kid. Fact of life."

Second was the hospital, at the Avengers Compound. The anaesthetic felt different from anything he'd taken previously. He hadn't taken a lot of painkillers or downers, though. But this was taking forever to wear off. 

When he woke up, his wrists and feet were in restraints on the bed. Peter struggled against them, his muscles aching again. "No, no," he mumbled. Something was beeping faster. 

Mr. Stark rubbed his forearm. He said, "No, it's okay, I'll take them off. You've been walking in your sleep, right out of bed, onto the ceiling, it's freaky. Plus you hurt yourself and keep going." Peter's arms were tense until he could get them out. Mr. Stark said, "And now your legs, don't worry. Don't worry."

"It's just kinda awful to wake up from that, and I can't move," Peter said. He was definitely whining. 

"I know, kid," Mr. Stark said. He pulled something down and showed Peter his face. Peter had healing cuts on his cheeks and jaw. Mr. Stark said, "Like I said, you didn't stop when you got hurt. Straight into glass." 

"Ouch," Peter said.

Mr. Stark said, "It's those weird drugs they gave you. They're leaving your system. Just give it some time. No more restraints, promise."

He even meant it. Peter was still sleepwalking or sleepcrawling. The next morning when he woke up, Mr. Stark and Colonel Rhodey both had bruising on their faces. "Don't worry, we just guided you back to bed. We got suits, you didn't hurt us."

"Your sleepwalking hand to hand skills are shit," Colonel Rhodey said. 

"That's, okay, okay," Peter said. 

"We'll work on it," Colonel Rhodey said. "My sleepwalking hand to hand skills are excellent."

"How do you know?"

"Because I'm just that good," Colonel Rhodey said. 

Peter nodded. "It'll stop, right? The sleepwalking?"

Mr. Stark said, "Of course it will."

It took another day and night and they made him stay one more night so he didn't do anything before they felt safe sending him home. It was so boring. Ned brought him school work and books to read. May made him stay home yet another day. "I just want to hang out. You feel okay, right?"

"Yup," Peter said. "We're good. I'm good."

Still, third, Peter went to his lab day and Mr. Stark made him sit with a Dr. Plaskton. "She has a very exciting specialty," Mr. Stark said. 

"It's not exciting," Dr. Plaskton said with a heavy sigh. "I'm a psychiatrist. I specialize in treating victims of torture."

"Oh, I'm fine," Peter said, stepping backwards.

Dr. Plaskton said, "Then this will go quick."

It wasn't quick, but it did happen. Even a few months later, when a flying bad guy was dangling Spider-man over the East River by holding his wrists behind his back and an actual hook embedded in Spider-man's thigh, Peter only freaked out. He only freaked out for a minute or so and then he could break free. He healed up. 

So he easily agreed when MJ said they had to sign up for a college psych experiment. "They're attempting to completely disprove the Stanford Prison Experiment. Which was never really proved anyway, did you know that it was never really peer-reviewed? It wasn't in a real journal," MJ said. "So I know this guy, they got permission to use part of the campus in Columbia."

Ned said, "What if I don't know what the Stanford Prison Experiment is? I can guess from the name it's something to do with prison and possibly Stanford University?"

"You know what it is, you just don't know the name," Peter said. "It's that experiment where a professor at Stanford had half his students act as prisoners and the other half as jailers. They had to stop it early because the jailers were so brutal. Power of conformity and rules," Peter said, waving his hand. "But it was all white men, that's one of the critiques." 

MJ smiled at Peter and he felt proud of himself. 

MJ said, "Plus, again, not really peer-reviewed, a host of other issues. It hasn't been replicated, not the way it turned out. So they're getting a bunch of people, and we're at a some kind of political protest. Should be cool."

Ned, who had known Peter was Spider-man back then, said, "Will you be okay with that, Peter?"

MJ frowned a little. "Why wouldn't he be? Why wouldn't you be?"

"There was a thing, last year, when I missed all that school. I'm not good with handcuffs. I'll be fine, Ned," Peter said. 

"We might not even get restrained," MJ said. "People don't conform the way that flawed so called experiment says they do." She patted Peter's arm. They'd been dating for a few months and he was still a little floaty and elated when she touched him. 

He noticed MJ and Ned sticking close to him as they got their assigned roles. Peter wasn't worried. MJ was right, people weren't automatically evil because of the roles they were assigned. The SPE was completely flawed.

But fourth, there was a bad guy out there that night. They were a half hour into the fake protest against the fake government when there was suddenly some kind of smell in the air. Peter's danger tingle was going off. Then the smell was gone. Peter looked around his group and no one seemed affected. Ned said, "What was that?"

"No idea," Peter said. 

"Wait," MJ said. She pointed at the group of fake government forces. They'd all been issued masks so they should have been the ones who weren't affected by any gas. But they were moving towards each other like they were getting in a kind of formation. None of them were actually trained as security or police according to what MJ had said. 

"That's not good," Peter said.

Peter waved and started signalling the other fake protesters to leave. "Better safe than sorry," he said. 

He didn't move fast enough. The fake forces started marching towards the protesters. Soon they were surrounding Peter and Ned and MJ and a handful of people with them. Peter stood on his tip toes and saw that the rest of their fellow protesters were running away. They were getting away, thank goodness. 

"I guess they figured out kettling," MJ said. "We're stuck."

Peter pulled his phone out of his backpack and texted Mr. Stark that something bad was going down. He was sending details as he looked around at everyone around them. The protesters were nervous and the fake forces were just plain hostile. He took a deep breath and another. He moved in front of MJ. 

Everyone was startled when they started to hear hissing and screaming nearby. There was yelling thirty feet away and what was definitely people getting hit. This little group of fifteen protesters and about thirty forces was completely silent. Peter breathed in and out. Someone behind him, not MJ or Ned, started giggling nervously. Someone else muttered, "I want out. I want out."

"Maybe we can go peacefully," Peter said, smiling at the fake force in front of him. He couldn't take thirty guys, not without his webshooters. Not without giving himself away. Peter said, "Protest over."

One of the fake government guys snarled. He pushed on Peter with his plastic shield. Peter stumbled back a little, but mostly stood his ground. He didn't shove back. Snarly guy pushed again. Peter didn't move this time. 

Other fake government guys were pushing at their group. Nobody was shoving back, but everyone else was getting pushed against the wall. Peter moved as fast as he could, which was really fast, straight to a locked door into the building. It wasn't locked after Peter pushed it open. "Go," he said. He let the protesters duck inside and positioned himself in front of the door. Only about half the protesters got in, then, unfortunately, Peter had to close the door before any of the current drugged up temporary bad guys got in. Ned and MJ were in the building so they were safe. Tony was probably coming soon.

"What's wrong with you?" A guy behind Peter yelled at the fake forces. 

"Shut up," Temporarily bad guy snarled to Peter's right. "You're all out of order."

That was the fake forces needed. They started grabbing at the protesters. They seemed to be just putting zip ties on people and then shoving them along. Someone was filming on his "side," Peter realized. That was probably a good thing. 

Peter got grabbed and turned around, someone wrenching at his wrists. This was fine, he thought. 

Except it wasn't. There was a shooting pain from someone wrenching his arm and then someone put a zip tie around his wrists. It was tight. Peter could break it. He could break it. But he couldn't breathe. He was encased in mud, he was freezing and shivering like he was on the roof somewhere. 

Dr. Plaskton would say something. He couldn't remember it. He couldn't move, he couldn't breathe. Someone was yelling at him. He opened his eyes but he couldn't see anything somehow. He mumbled "Dr. Plaskton" but that didn't help anything. 

He inhaled and exhaled. Someone yelled at him. Someone pushed him but he fell to his knees. Someone kicked him in his back. Peter fell flat on the ground, face first. Face plant. It would be nice if the pain from that had roused him, but he was just face down, unable to move.

Someone pulled him up from behind, pushed and carried him forward. He heard more grumbling. Something unintelligible yelled in his ear. It wasn't unintelligible, Peter just couldn't process it. He was overwhelmed. 

Sensory overload, he thought. Panic attack or whatever came first, then sensory overload. That made sense, he thought. Made sense. 

It didn't help him. They had made him sit down, people were in a line, sitting on the curb. Parking lot, he thought. Someone next to him said loudly, "Come on, you fucks, he's bleeding. Let us help him. This is just fake."

Peter realized he understood. He still couldn't move and felt like his entire existence was concentrated in the place where his wrists were being scratched by the zip tie, but he understood words now. Improvement, he thought. 

More noise washed over him. His sensory overload wasn't going great, he felt pain from scratches on his face and general pain from his head and a minor pain radiating from everywhere on his exposed skin. 

Then he heard Ned. Ned. Ned rubbed his shoulders and said, "Peter, it's okay. It's okay." Peter inhaled again. It was a smidge easier to breathe. The Ned effect, Peter thought. He and MJ and May joked about that. 

Ned said, "Hey, anyone got scissors? Or a knife? I can get you out."

Then Ned was gone. Peter shivered. Ned was back and Peter felt cold metal against his skin. Ned said, "It's okay, Peter, I got it." The zip tie was gone and Ned separated Peter's hands. He moved Peter's arms so they were in front of him, on his knees. Peter tried to move again but everything hurt. 

Ned was gone again. MJ was pressed against Peter on the other side. She said, "Hi, Peter." She touched him and then she was moving his jaw. "I'm going to wipe this blood off your face," she said. He felt her doing that. She said, "Looks like you managed to fall face first into some broken glass." He felt a pinch over his cheek. "I'm just taking it out. It's okay, Peter." Then it was done. She wiped his face again. 

MJ sounded rough. Maybe she was feeling guilty, which she shouldn't. He tried to open his eyes but the hint of light made him hiss. "Hey, Peter, Peter, it's okay," she said. "Ned helped everyone else get away, I think Iron Man's out there somewhere. War Machine, too. Honestly, he's cooler than Iron Man, I know you don't agree."

Ned said, "I'm back. I think that gas must have affected him, too. You, too, I mean, Peter. I know you've got this, well, trigger, but it looks like sensory overload, too, so."

Peter nodded, or tried. He rocked a little. MJ said, "Peter, I'm sorry. This was stupid."

Ned said, "MJ, chill. You didn't know what would happen. Just the bad guys did." Ned rubbed Peter's back. "It's okay, Peter, it's okay."

MJ was pressed against him again. She hummed a little, too. Peter could manage leaning into her a little. He was starting to get better.

MJ was now singing very quietly. Ned said, "Is that the Roots?"

"Yup," MJ said. She went back to singing. "Baby, you got me."

Peter was only incrementally feeling better. He was still not quite ready to move, not quite out of the sludge all over him. Someone walked up, MJ stopped singing. Peter tried to open his eyes again but it was still too bright. He saw a person, a white person. MJ's posture felt defensive. So some kind of actual police. Which was MJ's completely understandable reaction. 

New person said, "Hey, do you guys need help? I'm an EMT." Paramedics were usually cool enough, but close enough to police. "Are you okay, kid?"

Ned said, "He'll be fine. He's just, he has PTSD and being cuffed kinda set him off. So he's in a sort of fugue state thing, but it's getting better. His aunt is on the way, she already texted me."

The paramedic lady said, "Oh, is he the one from the video? I saw that, poor kid. Did you, it looked like he hurt his face."

MJ said, "We cleaned that off, he'll be okay as soon as his aunt gets here."

It was definitely awkward for a few minutes as they all sat there, waiting. Peter zoned out again. He stopped trying to open his eyes or be less stuck, he just thought about MJ and Ned pressing against him. May was coming. 

The paramedic said, "Sounds like Iron Man and some other Avengers are taking care of whatever happened. Not many people hurt, though, thank goodness."

"We didn't even get cuffed," Ned said. "We got in the building before the drugged guys tried anything."

"Lucky," the paramedic said. 

"Our friend helped," MJ said. Then she went back to gripping Peter's arm. 

May came up and Peter knew, he knew she was right there. He moved, a little, reaching up to her. May hugged him tight. "Hey, hey, honey, time to go home."

The paramedic said, "Are you going on the subway, or did you drive?"

"Drove," May said. "Come on, you two, we've got room for you."

Peter was stumbling, but he was moving. He heard Happy saying something and he thought, oh, limo. Happy came to get May. That was a great plan. He sunk deeper in the seat and before he knew it May was helping him out again. She told him to open his mouth to take a pill. "It's one of your special ones, you're gonna sleep this off."

He did fall asleep. He woke up slowly. He felt much better, he felt like a person again. He opened his eyes easily. Also, he wasn't in his room, he was on the fold out. He was also not alone. MJ was asleep next to him. She blinked and slowly opened her eyes. She said, "Hey, you better?"

"Yeah, definitely," he said. "I guess we should talk or whatever, but wanna make out?"

"After you brush your teeth," MJ said. "And I do." 

"That's a plan," Peter said. He got up very quickly and went into the bathroom. He quickly peed and then washed his hands. Then he got his electric toothbrush, just as the bathroom door opened and closed. MJ just came in and sat down on the toilet. "I know we're not quite there yet but I really have to pee. So can you not look and turn on your toothbrush so you don't hear?"

"Done and done," he said. 

She brushed her teeth, too.

They were kissing and she was definitely about to get her hand in his underwear when it suddenly occurred to him he didn't really know what had happened. He said, "Hey, last night - how come all the forces were affected?"

"Oh," MJ said. "It was something in their vests. Those padded vests. I guess the bad guy set it up in advance. But it didn't work very well --"

"Felt like it worked, they were pretty gung ho," Peter said, shuddering a little. 

"Yeah, but most of them didn't get violent. They got aggro, I guess, but only like one guy kicked you. No one else in our group got hurt at all. Some of the other people who got hurt, they were some of the guys who were drugged, but when they hit innocent people, the other forces kicked them to shit. So in a way, again, totally disproved the Stanford stupid experiment. People didn't just actually conform to their assigned roles or become aggressors," MJ said. She rolled on her back and stretched her arms up. He had totally talked himself out of a handjob and MJ was good at those. 

He sighed. "So if it's not assigned roles, then how come police brutality?"

"I don't know," MJ said. "But it's not because of their assigned titles or whatever."

"But Iron Man and War Machine, they took care of it?"

"They mostly just grouped people around and waited for the drugs to wear off. No idea what in the drugs set you off," MJ said. She smiled at him. "But you're fine now."

"I'm fine now," Peter said. "It was like a cascade, you know. First the one reaction, then the sensory overload. I don't want to do that again."

"Me neither," MJ said. "Ned either, he was so stressed. He's good in a crisis, isn't he?"

"Excellent in a crisis," Peter said. "You weren't bad. You have a great voice."

"Ugh," she said. "I'm glad you're okay now."

May came out of her room and said, "You two better have all your clothes on."

"Yup," MJ said and got out of bed. "Thanks for letting me stay."

"My pleasure," May said. 

"Yeah, thanks," Peter said. "Thanks for last night, too. I'm sorry I made you worry. I'm sorry every time I make you worry."

"It's fine," May said. "It's not fine. But you're doing your best." She patted Peter's head. "Breakfast now."


End file.
